Her Feelings at the Same Time

One day, she told to me about her crazy. check this out!

I live in mix condition of environment they are secular education, culture and religion. All of that engaged in combat with my desire. And than that built mix of my tought and characters. I also confuse when the problem come to me. One side of my  heart said A, but in the other side said B, and than C,  D, etc.

Side A of my heart :
Until now, i still feeling that you can't understand what i mind. whereas every my pouting that is means i missed you. But you judged that i have a bad characteristic because of that. You don't understand and you never understand. First, you always praise of me, but now you always insult me. Some man whose ever closed to me is like you too. I feel very sad because of that. I think that i hate man and also man whose create poem about beautiful of women. They doing that and when they found the women's uglines, they will saying a hex. I'm realy hate you! and i want to kill you like "Judith Slaying Holofernes".

Side B of my heart :
Until now, i think i feel guilty to you. I always makes you sad and embarrassed. Until you leave me now. I understand that you still love me, but you can't hold out again. I still love you, but I understand that you can't happy with me. So begone, my love! I'm sorry and thank you for everything.

Side C of my heart :
Until now, i think i feel guilty to you. I broked your pure of heart. Before, you are a pious guy. But until i become to your girl friend, you become diferent. Whereas, i think i can bring our love become pure love, but we can't. Now you leave me alone because of my ego. I'm sorry.. you are my first boy friend. I don't know how i must subjected you. But now i already know that i must control my ego. Please come back to me. If i be your wife, i will serve you with full of my heart.

Side D of my heart :
Before, i feel hate to you but now i try to forgiving you. I think i was fogived you, but i don't want to see you again. I ask you to found a new girl friend, but i don't want to see you again!


that's her feelings at the same time about one topic which make her crazy every time. hahaha.